The bad news is that your understanding of the coordinates x, t, x', t' is badly jumbled . The good news is that your last sentence asks a good question, so let's start with it:
Q: "how can I be certain which object in a question is the 'moving' one, and which one is the 'stationary' object?"
A: You just "name" them that way! You can even switch the "names" around, but once you do, you need to stick to your chosen denomination. This is what the principle of relativity is about: there really isn't a truly "stationary" or a truly "moving" frame/object/observer. To avoid the confusion altogether, let's just call one A and the other B. Now we can deal with the main question.
Q: "what the variables represent in the Lorentz time and distance transformations"?
A: Say both A and B observe an event E and measure separately where and when E takes place. The Lorentz transformations relate the position and time of E as measured in frame A (or by observer A) to its position and time as measured in frame B (or by observer B):
Say in frame A, E is observed at position $x_A$ and time $t_A$.
In frame B the same E is seen at position $x_B$ and time $t_B$.
If B moves at velocity $u$ relative to A, as seen from A, then the Lorentz transformations tell us that
$$
x_B = \gamma(x_A - u t_A) \\
t_B = \gamma(t_A - \frac{u x_A}{c^2})
$$
where $\gamma = \frac{1}{\sqrt{1-\frac{u^2}{c^2}}}$. Conversely, as seen from B, A moves relative to B at velocity -u, and the Lorentz transformation from B to A reads
$$
x_A = \gamma(x_B + u t_B) \\
t_A = \gamma(t_B + \frac{u x_B}{c^2})
$$
To get to your original notation and definitions, let's identify
$x_A \rightarrow x$, or the position where E occurs in the "stationary" frame
$t_A \rightarrow t$, or the time at which E occurs in the "stationary" frame
$x_B \rightarrow x'$, or the position where E occurs in the "moving" frame
$t_B \rightarrow t'$, or the time at which E occurs in the "moving" frame
Notice that the terms "proper time" and "proper length" do not appear at all up to this point. We can say that time $t_A$ ($t_B$) is the proper time of frame A (B), but we cannot attach a proper time to event E unless we know that it concerns an object C that "co-moves with"/"is stationary with respect to" frame A (B). If C is co-moving with A (B), we can also call the length of C as seen in A (B) the "proper length" of C. If however C is moving with respect to both A and B, we cannot identify the coordinates of event E in frame A or frame B as "proper" coordinates.
For example, say A is the frame of Earth and B is the frame of a spaceship moving away from Earth at relative velocity u (as seen from Earth). Then $x_A$ and $t_A$ are the position and time of event E as measured from Earth, while $x_B$ and $t_B$ are the position and time of E as measured on the spaceship. If E occurs on Earth we can say that its proper-time is $t_A$, if it occurs on the spaceship, its proper time is $t_B$. But if E occurs on a space probe moving away from both the spaceship and Earth neither $t_A$ nor $t_B$ are its proper-times. Same goes for object lengths.