I think part of the difficulty is the issue of defining energy or at least characterizing something about energy. More broadly, I think it is worth considering why we care about energy to begin with. I will present two intuitive arguments that lead us to conclude the proportion $KE\propto v^{2}$. For these arguments, I will explicitly write out what intuitive features of energy I am invoking that I think many people would accept as reasonable.
The most important key feature of energy that I invoke throughout these arguments is that energy is something that can be converted from kinetic energy to potential energy and vice-versa, and you can store potential energy. I would argue this is precisely the reason we care about energy to begin with.
Argument 1: Spring Pushing Boxes Apart
The key facts about energy is that it is "conserved" and it can be "converted" between various forms of energy between wildly disparate systems. Based on these facts, we can reasonably say the following:
- Kinetic energy is a function of mass and velocity of an object.
- Devices that launch objects (such as springs) come with potential energy and this potential energy is converted to kinetic energy when an object is launched.
Additionally, I think it's worth pointing out some more assumptions that I will use:
- Newton's third law applies, and consequently total momentum is always conserved.
- The potential energy stored in an object is Galilean invariant.
- Kinetic energy is additive with respect to mass: $KE\propto m$.
I haven't explicitly defined kinetic energy here, but I gave a useful characterization of some features of it. There are many other assumptions that go into my argument, but I won't make them explicit for the sake of brevity. It would be an interesting exercise to see how many assumptions I haven't stated explicitly.
Scenario: Suppose we have two boxes, each of mass $m$, moving at speed $v$ to the right with a compressed spring in-between (or anything else that could potentially separate the two boxes). This system has total energy $KE(2m, v) + U$ where $KE(\cdot, \cdot)$ is the kinetic energy and $U$ is the potential energy of the spring.
Now imagine we let go of the spring (maybe we cut the rope holding the two boxes together), and suppose the two boxes are pushed apart from one another in just the right way that the left box comes to a standstill. By conservation of momentum, the right box must be boosted to be moving at speed $2v$ to the right.
From this we get
$$ KE(2m, v) + U = KE(m, 2v). $$
By assuming energy is additive with respect to mass, we get
$$ 2KE(m, v) + U = KE(m, 2v). $$
By this alone, we see that energy cannot be linearly proportional to the speed $v$, because $U > 0$ here.
To get the exact proportionality relationship between energy and velocity, I will consider Galilean invariance just like in Ron Maimon's post. Given the current coordinate system, consider a new coordinate system moving to the right at velocity $v$ relative to the old one. By going to the new reference frame, the two boxes are initially at rest (so the kinetic energy is $KE(2m, 0) = 0$) and the spring is compressed with potential energy $U$.
After release, both boxes move in opposite directions at speed $v$.
In this case, we find
$$ U = 2KE(m, v). $$
Assuming potential energy is Galilean invariant, we can plug this into the previous equations, and we get
$$ KE(m, 2v) = 4KE(m, v). $$
This demonstrates a quadrupling of kinetic energy with respect to a doubling of velocity. By answers in this MSE post, the general $KE\propto v^{2}$ proportion follows.
Argument 2: Using Gravity Without Presupposing Work or mgh
Many arguments for $KE\propto v^{2}$ invoke gravitational potential energy $mgh$, but that further leads us to ask, why is gravitational potential energy given by $mgh$ as opposed to some other expression? A further justification would invoke work $dW = F(x)\,dx$, but then we would be tempted to ask, why would we be interested in defining work?
I will present an argument without invoking work or even gravitational potential energy. First, I need to establish some reasonable features of energy:
- Kinetic energy is a function of mass and velocity of an object.
- Devices (such as springs) can absorb kinetic energy and convert it to potential energy that they can store, and they can launch objects by converting potential energy into kinetic energy.
- In a constant gravitational field, gravitational potential energy is converted to the kinetic energy of an object as the object is in free-fall in a downward trajectory, and vice-versa if the object is in free-fall in an upward trajectory.
- Energy is conserved. Consequently, we cannot ever create a process where an object starts at some height $h$ and then ends up at some height greater than $h$ in an isolated system with seemingly no outside input, because then we could drop the object back to height $h$, get back to the same state we started, and gained energy in the process.
- In a constant gravitational field, a device absorbing an impact from an object moving at velocity $v$ gains potential energy $KE(v)$, and this does not depend on where this occurs in the gravitational field, because the kinematics are exactly the same everywhere in this constant gravitational field.
I will use extensively the kinematics of objects in a constant gravitational field. You should keep in mind that if an object starts with zero velocity, the relationships between height dropped in free- fall and its velocity are
$$ v = \sqrt{2gh} \qquad\text{ and }\qquad h = \frac{v^{2}}{2g}. $$
Scenario: Suppose we are in a (approximately) constant gravitational field like on Earth. Take an object at height $h$ relative to some ground level, and let $v = \sqrt{2gh}$.
Let the object fall $h/4$ distance, catch the object, and absorb its kinetic energy into potential energy of some device. The device has energy $KE(v/2)$. Repeat this three times so that the object ends up at ground level. The device now has energy
$$ U_{1} = 4\cdot KE(v/2). $$
Now use the potential energy of the device to launch the object back up. The object cannot travel to a height greater than $h$, or else we would violate energy conservation (we could repeat our cycle to get to progressively higher and higher heights). Thus, it must be launched with some velocity no greater than $v$. Hence our device has potential energy $U_{1}$ no greater than $KE(v)$, so
$$ U_{1} = 4\cdot KE(v/2) \le KE(v). $$
Now consider the following. Suppose we again take an object at height $h$ relative to some ground level. Let the object fall $h$ distance to the ground, catch the object, and absorb its kinetic energy into potential energy of some device. The device has energy
$$ U_{2} = KE(v). $$
Now use $1/4$th of potential energy of the device to launch the object up, and repeat this three more times. Again, we cannot end up at a height greater than $h$, so, assuming each of the four upwards kicks are identical, each of the kicks must provide an upward velocity less than or equal to $v/2$. Thus, each of the kicks should be worth potential energy $U_{2}/4\le KE(v/2)$, so
$$ U_{2} = KE(v) \le 4\cdot KE(v/2). $$
By the above inequalities, we are forced to conclude
$$ KE(v) = 4\cdot KE(v/2). $$
This is equivalent to $KE(2v) = 4KE(v)$, and by answers in this MSE post, the general $KE\propto v^{2}$ proportion follows.