There are 3 questions in your post:
1) What is the difference between reversible and irreversible adiabatic expansion?
Answer: Reversible means actually the time-reversible. When system pressure is applied against the external surrounding (resistant), the external pressure reacts back at the next instant. The system pressure is always slightly higher than the external pressure. The other aspect of reversible is the external pressure gradually rises; whereas in the irreversible condition, the external pressure is constant.
2) Is it true that the work done by the gas is the same but the pressure applied externally differ between two process?
Answer: No. Workdone in reversible is always more than the workdone in irreversible. The reason is the system has to work against the gradual higher external pressure in reversible condition. Whereas the external pressure is constant, no rising in irreversible condition, hence work is less. The average external pressure in reversible is in-between P-initial and P-final whereas the external pressure is P-final in irreversible process.
3) If Pext = work done by gas, then how will there be an expansion if they are pushing against each other at the same force?
Answer: The pressure of gas during expansion is not equal but near-extra, a slightly higher. The pressure energy (mechanical/potential) is very sensitive compare to temperature energy (thermal). The work is performed with slight pressure difference. It's a quasi-equilibrium phenomena.