Why are attractive and repulsive forces symmetrical?

Question

This question relates to the physicality of force exchange. I'm comfortable with QM as far as it relates to chemistry, (BO approximation, Hartree-Fock method, most particle interactions basics, etc) but am interested in understanding the physical nature of force exchange. Let's take for example, intermolecular long-range electrostatic interactions (coulomb force).

1. In Scenario 1, let's say we have a point-like molecule/atom (let's not integrate please) with a formal charge of +1, called P1. It is at a fixed distance from another like object, P2.

2. In Scenario 2, we have P1 at the same fixed distance from another point-like that has a formal charge of -1, called N1.

The attractive force and repulsive force between the interactions in Scenario 1 and 2 are the same, just the sign is flipped in all thermodynamic or energetic descriptions of the relationship.

To my knowledge, force carriers mediate these interactions. So my question is, how does that work, physically? To put it simply, if I pull or push on a solid rod, that to me makes intuitive sense as to its symmetry. How does force exchange work physically at the subatomic level to mediate "pull" and "push" forces to be symmetrical? Can someone provide an example of how force carriers would mediate Scenario 1 and 2?

Answer 1

Historically, Newton has "invented" the word "force". He was some kind of person who liked myths and witchcraft and lived in a time of alchemy. Asking Wikipedia, for him force was something quite magic.

Next vision of forces came from Faraday. He described electro-magnetic force-fields as a kind of surrounding fluid. A positive charge is a source of this fluid, pressing this fluid away. A negative charge is quite the same, but it is a drain for this fluid. A drain and a source move closer together, while two sources push each other away. Also two drains push each other away, because they can suck less of this fluid from the space in between them. To me, that is the most intuitive vision.

The next level is quantum-field-theory with its photons. The idea of particles comes from the quantized energy transfer. I think this view is less intuitive and lead to the vision of solid particles that would bump like real particles in the classical world. Here a lot of confusion starts, because that analogy is often wrong.

You should also note, that forces are not always as symmetric. In chemistry basically all occuring forces are Coulomb forces, thus you might get this feeling. However, for example in gravity, there is no repulsive counterpart like in electro-magnetic farces by changing the charge.