You are correct, that there is a mass/radius ratio that makes it inevitable that an object will collapse to form a black hole and that this mass/radius ratio has a corresponding "escape velocity" (NB. it is a speed in Newtonian physics, but in GR it is a velocity because I think the direction matters) that is less than $c$. If an object of a given mass shrinks below this critical radius, which is larger than the Schwarzschild radius, then it will collapse to form a black hole.
The structure of a General Relativistic object is controlled by the Tolman-Oppenheimer-Volkhoff equation of hydrostatic equilibrium. This has the pressure gradient on the LHS but also features the pressure on the right hand side, because pressure is a source of space-time curvature in GR. As the object gets smaller and approaches the Schwarzschild radius, the central pressure must increase to provide the necessary pressure gradient to support the increasing weight. However, this pressure also contributes to the requirement for an increased pressure gradient and the whole thing becomes self-defeating and the object will collapse.
The details depend on the specifics of the equation of state for material at ultra-high densities, thought to exist in neutron stars, which is highly uncertain. However, there is a limit. In "Black Holes, White Dwarfs and Neutron Stars" by Shapiro & Teukolsky, (pp.260-263), it is shown, approximately, that even if the equation of state hardens to the point where the speed of sound equals the speed of light, that instability sets in if $(GM/Rc^2)<0.405$. [NB. This is for non-rotating objects, which might change things slightly, but even if causality were abandoned and you allow $P \rightarrow \infty$ then $(GM/Rc^2)<0.444$ (this the so-called Buchdahl limit).]
The Schwarzschild radius is $R_s=2GM/c^2$ and therefore $R > 1.23 R_s$ for stability. This limit is reached for a neutron star with $M \simeq 3.5 M_{\odot}$ using this equation of state. The "radial escape velocty" (according to a "shell observer" stationary at that radius) for such an object is
$$ v = \left( \frac{2GM}{1.23R_s} \right)^{1/2} = \frac{c}{\sqrt{1.23}}$$
A more accurate treatment in Lattimer (2013) suggests that a maximally compact neutron star has $R\geq 1.41R_s$, which leads to an escape speed of $c/\sqrt{1.41}$.
In practice the maximum escape speed will be smaller than this because the real equation of state is unlikely to be as extreme as supposed above.
The picture below (from Demorest et al. 2010) shows the mass-radius relations for a wide variety of equations of state. The limits in the top-left of the diagram indicate the limits imposed by (most stringently) the speed of sound being the speed of light (labelled "causality" and which gives radii slightly larger than Shapiro & Teukolsky's approximate result) and then in the very top left, the border marked by "GR" coincides with the Schwarzschild radius. Real neutron stars become unstable where their mass-radius curves peak, so their radii are always significantly greater than $R_s$ at all masses and the escape speed will be given by $c$ divided by the square root of their smallest possible radius as a multiple of the Schwarzschild radius.
EDIT: Just to address the point on rotation. I found a paper that adopt the "causal" equation of state and allows neutron stars to rotate as fast as they possibly can (Friedman & Ipser 1987; see also more modern work by Cipolleta et al. 2015). These configurations do allow more massive neutron stars to exist (by 30% or more), but they also have larger radii. The net outcome is almost identical - the minimum stable radius is about $1.3R_s$. What I am unsure about is what the relationship between escape velocity and radius is in the Kerr metric. (Or even how that would be defined).