To understand how the two terms in the usual expression for the material derivative arise, let's recall what the material derivative is first.
To calculate the material derivative of a quantity $Q$, we imagine to be riding an element (a very small volume) of fluid, and we are equipped with a clock and some device that shows us the current value of $Q$. Let's denote by $\boldsymbol{X}$ the fluid element we're riding on.
Let's emphasize that the velocity of the element of fluid is exactly zero in our reference frame (we're sitting on it!). And we might see nearby elements of fluid getting closer to us (compression), or moving away (expansion), or some of them getting closer while others moving away (shear).
To measure the material derivative of $Q$ at time $t$ – imagine for example to be measuring the temperature – we record the value of $Q$, wait a very short time interval $\Delta t$, and record again the value, and then take the difference
$$\frac{Q(\boldsymbol{X},t+ \Delta t) - Q(\boldsymbol{X},t)}{\Delta t}.$$
The material derivative of $Q$ measured at our fluid element $\boldsymbol{X}$ is the limit of the above fraction:
$$\dot{Q}(\boldsymbol{X},t) := \lim_{\Delta t \to 0}\frac{Q(\boldsymbol{X},t+ \Delta t) - Q(\boldsymbol{X},t)}{\Delta t} \equiv
\frac{\partial Q(\boldsymbol{X},t)}{\partial t}.$$
The last expression shows that the material derivative is just a time derivative taken keeping the position fixed on a particular fluid element. We can also say that it's the time derivative taken in a frame of reference instantaneously at rest with respect to a particular fluid element.
If the quantity $Q$ is a vector, the difference above will be a vector difference, but the definition is unchanged.
It's important to note that if the measurement of the quantity $Q$ does not depend on any frame of reference, then its material derivative doesn't depend on any frame of reference either. This is the case for the temperature or the internal energy, for example. If the measurement of $Q$ does depend on the choice of frame of reference instead, then its material derivative depends on that choice too. This is the case for velocity, for example: velocity with respect to what?
Now let's see how an observer in a different frame, for example a frame fixed with respect to a laboratory's walls, can calculate the material derivative. This new frame of reference doesn't need to be inertial, that is, fixed with respect to the distant stars.
Our new observer must do exactly what the observer riding on the fluid element $\boldsymbol{X}$ does: measure $Q$ at $\boldsymbol{X}$ at time $t$, then again at $\boldsymbol{X}$ at time $t+ \Delta t$, and then take the limit of the ratio above. But $\boldsymbol{X}$ does not stay in a fixed place for our new observer: at time $t$ it will be at position $\boldsymbol{x}$ with respect to his or her frame, and at time $t+\Delta t$ it will be at a new position $\boldsymbol{x}'$. If the time interval is small, this position will be given by
$$\boldsymbol{x}' \approx \boldsymbol{x} + \boldsymbol{v}\,\Delta t,$$
where $\boldsymbol{v}$ is the instantaneous velocity the fluid element $\boldsymbol{X}$ has at position $\boldsymbol{x}$ at time $t$ with respect to our new observer.
So our observer must take the limit of this ratio:
$$\frac{Q(\boldsymbol{x} + \boldsymbol{v}\,\Delta t,t+ \Delta t) - Q(\boldsymbol{x},t)}{\Delta t}.\tag{*}\label{ratio}$$
Use a Taylor expansion and the derivative of a composite function, $f[g(t+\Delta t),h(t+\Delta t)] \approx f[g(t),h(t)]+\left(\frac{\partial f}{\partial g}\frac{\partial g}{\partial t}+\frac{\partial f}{\partial h}\frac{\partial h}{\partial t}\right)\,\Delta t$, for the first term in the numerator:
$$Q(\boldsymbol{x} + \boldsymbol{v}\,\Delta t,t+ \Delta t)
\approx Q(\boldsymbol{x},t) +
\left[\boldsymbol{v} \cdot\nabla Q(\boldsymbol{x},t)+\frac{\partial Q(\boldsymbol{x},t)}{\partial t}\right]\,\Delta t.$$
Substituting this expansion in the ratio $\eqref{ratio}$, simplifying, and taking the limit, we finally obtain
$$\dot{Q}(\boldsymbol{x},t) = \boldsymbol{v} \cdot\nabla Q(\boldsymbol{x},t)
+ \frac{\partial Q(\boldsymbol{x},t)}{\partial t}.$$
The two terms appear because our observer must keep track of the motion of the fluid element. You can see the two terms also if you adopt a space-time perspective: imagine to trace the trajectory of the fluid element $\boldsymbol{X}$ on a $t$-$\boldsymbol{x}$ diagram. You can calculate the difference between $Q(\boldsymbol{x}',t+\Delta t)$ and $Q(\boldsymbol{x},t)$ in two steps: first move in the $t$ direction keeping $\boldsymbol{x}'$ fixed; this gives you the $\partial/\partial t$ term. Then move in the $\boldsymbol{x}$ direction keeping $t$ fixed. This gives you the $\boldsymbol{v}\cdot\nabla$ term. This decomposion depends on the frame we're using to describe the motion.
So it is as you say:
the two terms are not independent
and their separation is arbitrary as much as a choice of frame is arbitrary. This is why I personally don't like the explanation of acceleration in terms of this or that reason: I can always produce an arbitrary acceleration by arbitrarily changing my frame of reference. And if we're speaking of the acceleration with respect to the fixed stars, Newton's second law simply says that it's due to the total forces acting on the fluid element, be they pressure-like, viscous, or external (like the force of the wind on the ocean's surface). Convection, unsteady flow, etc. are also effects due to such forces. I don't find it useful to use effects to explain other effects, better to use the causes.
The above explanation is very pictorial. If you want to give it some more rigour, consider the description of the motion of bodies commonly done in continuum mechanics, rather than the one specialized to fluid mechanics:
Given a body, which could be a mass of fluid or a piece of material, we imagine to label each of its elements with a coordinate $\boldsymbol{X}$. The body is thus represented by an abstract differential manifold: it has topological and differential properties, but no metric ones, like a sort of abstract blob. Each point of this blob occupies, at each time $t$, a point in space, which we identify by a coordinate system in some particular frame. In other words we are considering the map
$$(\boldsymbol{X},t) \mapsto \boldsymbol{x}(\boldsymbol{X},t).$$
For each $t$, this map is one-to-one between $\boldsymbol{X}$ and $\boldsymbol{x}$, so we have also
$$(\boldsymbol{x},t) \mapsto \boldsymbol{X}(\boldsymbol{x},t).$$
The instantaneous velocity of the element $\boldsymbol{X}$ at time $t$ in that frame and coordinate system is defined as
$$\boldsymbol{v}(\boldsymbol{X},t) := \frac{\partial \boldsymbol{x}(\boldsymbol{X},t)}{\partial t},$$
which we can also refer to $\boldsymbol{x}$ by a change of variables in the argument: $\boldsymbol{v}(\boldsymbol{x},t) = \boldsymbol{v}[\boldsymbol{X}(\boldsymbol{x},t),t].$
The material derivative is defined as the time derivative of the velocity with respect to the manifold of the body:
$$\dot{\boldsymbol{v}}(\boldsymbol{X},t) := \frac{\partial \boldsymbol{v}(\boldsymbol{X},t)}{\partial t},$$
and when we express it in terms of the coordinate and frame $\boldsymbol{x}$ we obtain the two usual terms because of the derivative of a composite function, as explained above. See the references below for this point of view.
Three final remarks:
The first is important when $Q$ is the velocity $\boldsymbol{V}$ of the fluid element with respect to some reference frame. You can calculate the material derivative of this velocity in the same frame this velocity refers to, as is usually done; this will be
$$\frac{\partial\boldsymbol{V}}{\partial t} + \boldsymbol{V}\cdot\nabla\boldsymbol{V}.$$
But you could very well calculate the material derivative of this velocity $\boldsymbol{V}$ in a different frame than that this velocity refers to – even this is exceedingly rare (more common in general relativity). In this other frame the fluid element will have velocity $\boldsymbol{v}$, and the material derivative will be
$$\frac{\partial\boldsymbol{V}}{\partial t} + \boldsymbol{v}\cdot\nabla\boldsymbol{V};$$
note the two different velocities in the second term. I hope this doesn't confuse you, but it reminds us that the two velocities that appear in the $\nabla$ term have slightly different origins and meaning.
The second remark is that an expression like "$\partial/\partial t$" doesn't mean anything if we don't specify which frame of reference we're using: in a partial time derivative we keep the position fixed; but fixed with respect to which frame?
Final remark: the formula of the material derivative is also connected to time variation of the integral of an extensive quantity over a region of the fluid; it's called the Reynolds transport theorem. For this and a mathematically more rigorous analysis of the material derivative see for example
I. Samohýl, M. Pekař (2014): The Thermodynamics of Linear Fluids and Fluid Mixtures (Springer), § 3.1,
C. A. Truesdell (1991): A First Course in Rational Continuum Mechanics. Vol. 1: General Concepts (2nd ed., Academic Press), § II.6.