I believe your question relates to the idea of impulse and how that relates to momentum and energy conservation. The definition of impulse gives:
$$F\Delta t = \Delta p = m\Delta v$$
A force applied over some time interval equals the change in momentum.
So take the case of an elastic collision between two particles, one moving, one stationary.
The force that each one experiences on impact relies on the interval of time in which the collision occurs, which relates to the elasticity of the particles.
Let's examine what happens when two objects collide, and the collision lasts 1 second (1 second passes before the objects are finished colliding). The first object has momentum $p_1$, and the second $p_2 = 0$
We can compare the momentum after the objects collide to find the change in momentum for each object. This is $m\Delta v$. Then the force that each object experienced during collision is simply the change in momentum of each object, as $\Delta t = 1$
$$F = \frac{m\Delta v}{\Delta t} = \frac{m\Delta v}{1} = m\Delta v$$
Of course, the time interval that collisions occur can vary, and this depends on the elasticity of the objects. If the time interval is very small, for very elastic objects, the force experienced is larger. For more inelastic collisions (for instance, a car crash where the vehicles spend time deforming before separating, or even sticking together), the force experienced is much less than in the elastic case. This is what led to the idea of implementing crumple zones in vehicles, so that during a collision, more energy is used in deforming the vehicles, lowering the impulse and the force which drivers would experience.