For concreteness let's consider $SO(4)$.
The quantum numbers for the four states in the fundamental representations are (schematically)
$$ (1, 1) ,(-1, 1) ,(1, -1) ,(-1, -1 )$$
thus
$$ 4= \begin{pmatrix} (1, 1) \\(-1, 1) \\ (1, -1) \\ (-1, -1 ) \end{pmatrix} $$
If I want to compute $ 4 \otimes 4 = 1$ using tensors, I would compute naively
$$ 4 \otimes 4 = \begin{pmatrix} (1, 1) \\(-1, 1) \\ (1, -1) \\ (-1, -1 ) \end{pmatrix}^T \begin{pmatrix} (1, 1) \\(-1, 1) \\ (1, -1) \\ (-1, -1 ) \end{pmatrix} $$ $$=(1, 1) (1, 1) +(-1, 1)(-1, 1) +(1, -1) (1, -1) +(-1, -1 )(-1, -1 ) $$
which is not the one-dimensional representation of $SO(4)$. Correct would be
$$ 4 \otimes 4 = \begin{pmatrix} (1, 1) \\(-1, 1) \\ (1, -1) \\ (-1, -1 ) \end{pmatrix}^T \begin{pmatrix} (1, 1) \\(-1, 1) \\ (1, -1) \\ (-1, -1 ) \end{pmatrix} $$ $$=(-1, -1) (1, 1) +(1, -1)(-1, 1) +(-1,1) (1, -1) +(1, 1 )(-1, -1 ) $$
Why does transposing here change the quantum numbers?
For $SU(N)$ things are more transparent, because there we combine the conjugate fundamental with the fundamental to get a singlet. For $SU(3)$: $3 \otimes \bar 3= 1$.
Complex conjugation flips the quantum numbers and thus the usual scalar product of $3$ and $\bar 3$ yields the singlet.
Why and how does this happen for $SO(n)$?