I am trying to derive the spin matrices $S_x$ and $S_y$ in the z-basis for spin $s>1/2$ using the direct product (Kronecker product) method. For simplicity, let's focus on the case $s=1$.
I understand how to derive $S_z$. As shown in https://physics.stackexchange.com/a/342156/50484,
if for example \begin{equation} S_{1z}=\tfrac{1}{2} \begin{bmatrix} 1 & 0\\ 0 &\!\!\! -\!1 \end{bmatrix}\;,\; S_{2z}=\tfrac{1}{2} \begin{bmatrix} 1 & 0\\ 0 &\!\!\! -\!1 \end{bmatrix} \tag{08} \end{equation} then \begin{equation} S_{z-tot}=\left(S_{1z} \otimes I_2\right)+ \left(I_1 \otimes S_{2z}\right)= \begin{bmatrix} 1 & 0 & 0 & 0\\ 0 & 0 & 0 & 0 \\ 0 & 0 & 0 & 0\\ 0 & 0 & 0 &\!\!\! -\!1 \end{bmatrix} \tag{09} \end{equation} The matrix in (09) is already diagonal with eigenvalues 1,0,0,-1. Rearranging rows and columns we have
\begin{equation} S'_{z-tot}= \begin{bmatrix} \begin{array}{c|cccc} 0 & 0 & 0 & 0\\ \hline 0 & 1 & 0 & 0 \\ 0 & 0 & 0 & 0\\ 0 & 0 & 0 & \!\!\!\!-\!1 \end{array} \end{bmatrix} = \begin{bmatrix} \begin{array}{c|c} S_{z}^{(j=0)} & 0_{1\times 3}\\ \hline 0_{3\times1} & S_{z}^{(j=1)} \end{array} \end{bmatrix} \tag{10} \end{equation}
and so
$S_{z,s=1}= \begin{bmatrix} 1 & 0 & 0\\ 0 & 0 & 0 \\ 0 & 0 & -1\\ \end{bmatrix}$.
It is precisely the steps starting from (09) and getting to $S_{z,s=1}$ that I am wondering about, but for $S_{x,s=1}$ and $S_{y,s=1}$. Specifically, I can get
\begin{equation} S_{x-tot}=\left(S_{1x} \otimes I_2\right)+ \left(I_1 \otimes S_{2x}\right) =\tfrac{1}{2} \begin{bmatrix} 0 & 1 & 1 & 0\\ 1 & 0 & 0 & 1 \\ 1 & 0 & 0 & 1\\ 0 & 1 & 1 & 0 \end{bmatrix} \tag{20} \end{equation} \begin{equation} S_{y-tot}=\left(S_{1y} \otimes I_2\right)+ \left(I_1 \otimes S_{2y}\right)=\tfrac{1}{2} \begin{bmatrix} 0 & \!\!\! -\!i & \!\!\! -\!i & 0\\ i & 0 & 0 & \!\!\! -\!i \\ i & 0 & 0 & \!\!\! -\!i \\ 0 & i & i & 0 \end{bmatrix} \tag{21} \end{equation}
but from these I do not know how to get
$S_{x,s=1}= \frac{1}{\sqrt 2} \begin{bmatrix} 0 & 1 & 0\\ 1 & 0 & 1 \\ 0 & 1 & 0\\ \end{bmatrix}$
and
$S_{y,s=1}= \frac{1}{\sqrt 2} \begin{bmatrix} 0 & -i & 0\\ i & 0 & -i \\ 0 & i & 0\\ \end{bmatrix}$.
It seems $S_{z-tot}$ is just abnormally easy to work with because it is a diagonal matrix.