I am confused about the affine connection in General Relativitiy.
I've heard it said that there is a degree of arbitrariness in the connection coefficients but that they can be uniquely specified by choosing $\nabla_\mu g_{\alpha\beta}=0$ and by additionally requiring that the metric is torsionless. I don't understand why texts state that the co-efficients are arbitrary without these two conditions.
For example, in polar co-ordinates, I can solve for the connection co-efficients without coming across any arbitrariness whatsoever. I don't knowlingly assert either of those two conditions - I just mechanically solve for the co-efficients.
\begin{align} \partial_a \mathbf{e_b}=\Gamma^c_{ab}\mathbf{e_c}\newline \partial_\theta \mathbf{e_r} = \partial_\theta(\cos\theta\mathbf{e_x} +\sin\theta\mathbf{e_y})=-\sin\theta\mathbf{e_x} + \cos\theta\mathbf{e_y}= \frac{1}{r}\mathbf{e_\theta} \newline \implies\Gamma^\theta_{\theta r}=1/r \end{align}
What gives? Was there any arbitrariness here? Did I implicitly make any assumptions? Would different (curved) geometries have introduced arbitrariness that's not present in flat geometries?
More confusing still, under Cartan's vector formalisation, where the coordinate induced basis vectors {$\mathbf{e_\mu}$} are identified with the set of partial derivatives {$\partial_\mu$}, I cannot see how any metric would ever give rise to torsion. Shouldn't $\Gamma^c_{ab}$ always be equal to $\Gamma^c_{ba}$ due to the commutativity laws of partial derivatives? I am not seeing any freedom to choose anything with these coefficients.