Following the most recent comment, I am going to try and prove that the “vertical displacement force law” assumption implies the small-amplitude assumption. The small-amplitude assumption is equivalent to the small-angle assumption, where I am referring to the angles shown in the picture below, $\theta_n^-$ and $\theta_n^+$. This is the assumption found in many derivations – for example, in David Morin's book Waves (chapter 4, page 2).
I am going to redraw this picture with a simplified notation, which, intentionally, parallels the notation in Morin, (chapter 4, page 2).
Since we are considering a transverse wave, there is no motion in the $x$-direction. This implies that the $x$-component of the net force on the $n$-th mass is equal to zero, which gives us:
$${T_1}cos(\theta_1)= T_2{cos(\theta_2)}$$
I believe that $T_1cos(\theta_1)= T_2cos(\theta_2)=\tau$, the tension in the string in the equilibrium position (when it is stretched along the $x$-axis), since no force in the $x$-direction has been applied.
But I am going nowhere in my attempt to prove that the “vertical displacement force law” assumption implies the small-amplitude assumption. Could someone help?
Let me also point out that Morin, Chapter 4, page 2 of Waves, considers “small transverse displacements of the string” and uses this assumption to say: “then we can make the approximation that all points in the string move only in the transverse direction. That is, there is no longitudinal motion.”
But aren’t we assuming a transverse wave? “In physics, a transverse wave is a wave that oscillates perpendicularly to the direction of the wave's advance” (Wikipedia). So, it is not necessary to prove that there is no longitudinal motion.
Using the small transverse-displacement assumption, and the small-angle assumption, Morin concludes that the tension vector has constant magnitude throughout the string, and says “Let’s call this common tension $T$." This $T$ has better be the tension $\tau$ in the string in the equilibrium position (before it is perturbed), since there is no force is applied along the $x$-direction.
Finally, let me point out that a transverse-displacement assumption is a weaker assumption than "the restoring force is transverse and proportional to the transverse displacement." My impression is that Morin uses no physical assumption at all - just the mathematical assumption of "small transverse displacements." I am not satisfied with the rigor in his proof, and I still would like to see a proof that "the restoring force is transverse and proportional to the transverse displacement" is equivalent to (or at least that it implies) "small transverse displacements" in the string.