I have already seen similar questions asked in the site (like this or this), but I don't feel that my question has been fully addressed.
I understand that orbitals $np_x$ and $np_y$ are linear combinations of the wave functions with quantum numbers $(n,1,1)$ and $(n,1,-1)$ and thus they also satisfy the Schrödinger equation. However, why using one instead of the other? I get that the latter are complex-valued, but doesn't the Born interpretation already account for that? I mean, that is why we take $|\psi|^2$ to be the probability density, which is always real.
Furthermore, in Atkin's physical chemistry it is said "the $x, y, z$ designation is arbitrary, and it would be equally valid to use the complex forms of these orbitals" but why are both equally valid? I understand that the real-valued wavefunctions are more commonly used beacause they are easier to graph but the real-valued and the complex-valued correspond to different probability densities (since shielding depends on the shape of the orbital, do they even have the same energies?) and, in the complex ones, the angular momentum around the $z$-axis is non-zero. To me there is a big difference between both wavefunctions and I don't get why you can use them interchangeably.
As well, I believe that the more sensible choice would be using the wavefunction that agrees with the probability density that we observe by performing experiments so why is it valid to use real or complex wavefunctions and not just the one which is experimentally observed?
My question can be summarized as
Why is it fine to arbitrarily choose to use complex or real wavefunctions? Which of these is the one that is experimentally obtained?