My question basically boils down to: Is the singularity of a black hole infinitely far away?
I think questions like mine have been asked before, but they encounter responses like "no meaningful answer," so I thought I'd try to ask a modified version that will help laypeople like me understand.
It's my understanding that, in empty spacetime, an observer may measure the circumference $C$ of some sphere, and then measure that sphere's diameter $d$, and happily find that $C = \pi d$.
Let's say then that they fill that sphere uniformly with something that has mass (something like dark matter, so as to not disturb our measuring tape). The mass distorts spacetime, and when they repeat their procedure, the observer is surprised to find that the diameter is slightly greater than they expect: $C < \pi d$.
(if this isn't correct, you can stop reading here)
So, perhaps it is incoherent to ask what the distance is to a black hole's singularity, even in principle. But, I'm still hoping to understand how the ratio of the sphere's measured diameter to its [constant] measured circumference changes as the the massive stuff our observer filled the sphere with begins to collapse into a black hole. Does it remain fixed? Does it change up to some point and then become undefined?