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A distinguishing feature of globally curved spaces is that parallel lines don't remain equidistant--in a positively-curved space, they converge, and in a negatively-curved space, they diverge.

If the parallel lines under consideration are the velocity vectors of different particles in an extended object, that would seem to imply that a moving object in a curved space will experience a compressive or explosive pseudoforce perpendicular to its direction of motion, and proportional to its speed. Different bits of the same object will have to continually accelerate to maintain their separation. Which in turn suggests a simple experiment to determine the rest frame of space--it's the frame in which that force is zero.

Is there some error in my reasoning, or is it in fact the case that a non-Euclidean universe always has an obvious preferred rest frame?

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The main error in reasoning is in forgetting that general relativity deals with curved spacetime while OP's intuition is about curved space, disregarding the time component. Separation between two nearby timelike geodesics is given by geodesic deviation equation. And in most spacetimes of physical interest time components of curvature tensor appearing in the equation are important. For example, in the weak field limit of GR, where Newtonian gravity applies, this separation is approximately: $$ \frac{d^2 X^i}{dt^2}\approx - R^{i}_{0j0}X^j\approx \frac{\partial^2 \Phi}{\partial X^i \partial X^j} X^j, $$ where $\Phi$ is the Newtonian gravitational potential. While the contribution from purely spatial parts of curvature tensor would be small post-Newtonian corrections that could be ignored in many cases.

There is a class of spacetimes where the OP's argument almost works: so-called ultrastatic spacetimes, where there is a timelike Killing vector field $\xi$ with a constant norm $\xi_\mu \xi^\mu=-1$ and where there is a hypersurface $\Sigma$ orthogonal to $\xi$. This Killing vector field defines a reference frame (generally unique for a given spacetime, so it would indeed be a preferred frame) such that static observers are inertial and thus there would be no acceleration needed to maintain constant separation.

The wording “almost works” and “generally unique” is connected to another misconception on OP's part, that curvature would be either positive or negative. But, if the dimension is greater than $2$, curvature must be characterized by a tensor, so e.g. parallel lines can diverge along one direction and can converge in another. This also means that in a curved space it is possible to have directions displacements along which would not generate accelerations for equidistant observers, and so even in the ultrastatic spacetimes the preferred rest frame may not be unique. Consider e.g. a direct product $\mathrm{M}^{1,1}\times S^2$ of two dimensional Minkwoski spacetime and a sphere: instead of a single timelike KVF it has infinite number of them related by Minkowski boosts.

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  • $\begingroup$ Is it possible to have ultrastatic spacetimes with curvature with zero stress-energy? Naively I would think no. If that's right, then another aspect of this that might be interesting to point out is that such spacetimes are somewhat contrived physically (you need to arrange for a special arrangement of stress-energy to have them). Otherwise, never mind :) $\endgroup$
    – Andrew
    Commented Oct 8, 2021 at 4:27
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    $\begingroup$ @Andrew: Negative cosmological constant could also be considered “contrived physically”, yet there is AdS/CFT. And BTW, if negative cosmological constant and positive energy density are matched, we can have such spacetimes. For example Einstein static universe, while contrived (Einstein's “biggest blunder”), is a useful device for discussing causal structures. $\endgroup$
    – A.V.S.
    Commented Oct 8, 2021 at 15:10
  • $\begingroup$ Well, probably just have to agree to disagree. I'm all for studying "unrealistic" toy models that give you insight into more physical situations. But there are many exact solutions in GR that give you very little physical insight, that amount to writing down the metric you want, running it through Einstein's equations, and seeing what $T_{\mu\nu}$ you need. Ultrastatic spacetimes seem like they would be in this class. And while Einstein's static universe may help with studying causality, it also led Einstein to miss predicting expansion of the Universe, and isn't stable. $\endgroup$
    – Andrew
    Commented Oct 8, 2021 at 21:47
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A counter example is a spacetime with a gravitational wave passing through otherwise empty space. While there are so-called "transverse-tracless" coordinates where freely falling observers remain at the same coordinate values in such a spacetime, the physical distances between observers will change as a gravitational wave passes by, unless they accelerate to maintain their separation.

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  • $\begingroup$ How is that a counter-example? $\endgroup$ Commented Oct 7, 2021 at 14:23
  • $\begingroup$ @LoganR.Kearsley You were asking if there is a frame where the distances between objects don't change. There's no choice of coordinates where the distances don't change in this example. $\endgroup$
    – Andrew
    Commented Oct 7, 2021 at 16:37
  • $\begingroup$ But there is, then, a unique choice of velocity for any given choice of coordinates for which distances will not change? I.e., a unique choice of coordinate such that distances between objects at rest in that choice of coordinates do not change over time? $\endgroup$ Commented Oct 7, 2021 at 16:49
  • $\begingroup$ @LoganR.Kearsley If you mean physical distance, then no. The physical distances between free-falling observers will be time-dependent in any coordinate system if a gravitational wave passes through. If you mean coordinate distances (which are not physical, just an artifact of your coordinates), then certainly in a gravitational wave spacetime you can choose coordinates where observers are at fixed coordinate distances. This amounts to using the observer worldlines as coordinates. These "TT gauge" coordinates are not unique though. $\endgroup$
    – Andrew
    Commented Oct 7, 2021 at 20:46
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    $\begingroup$ @LoganR.Kearsley I see, I didn't realize you were interested in the case where space is static. This isn't very physical since in GR spatial curvature will generally cause evolution of the metric. But it's fine to think about. In this case there is a preferred frame or set of frames, which will be where the metric has a block diagonal form with a "time" component and a "spatial" metric. However in eg a hyperbolic space, I don't see how you will prevent nearby geodesics from diverging. I think you ultimately get back to the same "problem" of physical distance being independent of coordinates. $\endgroup$
    – Andrew
    Commented Oct 8, 2021 at 0:55
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Different bits of the same object will have to continually accelerate to maintain their separation. Which in turn suggests a simple experiment to determine the rest frame of space — it's the frame in which that force is zero.

You are confusing coordinate and proper acceleration. The intermolecular forces that are responsible for maintaining the shape of an extended body are real forces, and real forces result in proper acceleration which can't be transformed to zero by changing reference frames.

For example, a person standing on Earth will naturally attempt to move radially inward, but the (electromagnetic) normal force from the surface of the Earth resists it. As a result, the person feels a real force upwards.

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  • $\begingroup$ Yes... and as far as I can tell, anything that is in absolute motion in a curved space will naturally attempt to implode or explode, with electromagnetic forces resisting it. There is one unique rest frame in which that natural tendency does not exist, and pseudoforces appear in any other. $\endgroup$ Commented Oct 7, 2021 at 14:28
  • $\begingroup$ @LoganR.Kearsley No, as I have mentioned, you cannot find such a frame. If you had a very fragile object that breaks (spaghettified for example) in curved space, it will break in all frames. You cannot prevent it from breaking just by choosing another frame. That wouldn't make sense. $\endgroup$ Commented Oct 8, 2021 at 2:29
  • $\begingroup$ @LoganR.Kearsley In addition, it is not possible in general to find a frame where "I will experience no divergence over time as long as space is static". Take the simple case of the Schwarzschild spacetime, which is static. There is a non-zero "spaghettification" everywhere in this spacetime, in the sense that if I release a swarm of freely-falling test particles with the same initial velocity (which represents an extended body with no intermolecular forces), their proper separations will change as they move. This is due to the time dimension being curved. $\endgroup$ Commented Oct 8, 2021 at 2:45

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