Gravitational collapse of the CMS detector at LHC and the future of particle physics I have been a bit surprised about today's news that the CMS detector at the LHC has been wiped out during its collapse to a microscopic black hole. Although such an event has been predicted by some wannabe-physicists in the past, this has often been dismissed as crackpottery.
I am not the kind of person that wallows in dismay, so I would like to know, what are the opportunities of this event for the future of particle physics? I see several crucial aspects that could determine the further course of events:

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*Nowadays, we all know, that its not that uncommon that billions of euros/dollars vanish in unspecific holes. But could the fate of the CMS detector actually turn out to be a blueprint for compensating the expansive central bank policies world-wide? I mean, it could prove to be a strategy, that destroys assets even much more effectively than the fight against SarsCoV2. The term "quantitative easing" could then acquire a "hole" new meaning, of which physics could draw considerable advantage. Just think about the potentials of reinventing classical electrodynamics after future generations have finally found their way out of the cave again

*Could microscopic black holes actually be mass-produced? In my opinion, this would pave the way for the new academic field of "applied black hole physics". There are apparently lots of possible applications, for example drawing carbon dioxide from the atmosphere much more effectively than traditional carbon capture and storage methods. Of course, one would have to still solve the problem that oxygen and nitrogen will be "stored" as well, but I think these are minor challenges compared to the awful rigors of just living with climate change. Plus, there are opportunities for lots of EU research projects. And, frankly, who did not ever dream of happily dancing politicians, who have finally solved all the world's secret sufferings, and are then donating all their income to charities.

*When we are already talking about mass production, what about including a microscopic black hole in every smartphone? Things like vaccuum-cleaning the house with your phone would finally come into reach. And, although I am not an expert in the field, maybe evaporating black holes could even be used for cooking tofu sausages or frying vegan eggs just upon dialing a number. Charged black holes would certainly help in the monetization of such services. Wouldn't it be terrific if employment opportunities for astrophysicists in the smartphone business were greatly improved? Be honest, isn't it this kind of visions that makes us all sleep like newborn babies?

I'd very much appreciate it, if any knowledgeable person could answer some of my humble questions.
 A: Unfortunately I think your first question is outside the remit of Physics.SE; it sounds much more like something for Economics.SE.
Given that CMS did implode, it looks like production is doable but we should remember that the detector was running for years before, so the rate of production is likely too low yet for mass production. Still, even a few microscopic black holes are useful - not just to theoretical physicists who can finally check the Hawking radiation spectrum for real, but also from an energy production standpoint. A small black hole could definitely power things through Hawking radiation or an accretion disk. There are some issues here that black hole power may be tarred with the same feather as nuclear power, but that is politics rather than physics. From a physics standpoint black holes are very efficient at converting matter to energy.
Carbon capture using black holes requires a filtering mechanism, which (since it concentrates a dilute substance from a mixture) requires expending work (about 20 kJ/(mol CO2) for a basic extraction). However, energy would be plentiful, and one mol of CO2 is 44.01 g - if we use a Kerr accretion disk with 42% efficiency that would produce $4\cdot 10^{15}$ J, far more than needed to separate it.
It is worth, in regards to your third question, to remember that black holes saturate the various quantum speed limits and entropy bounds, making them potentially the most potent processors (assuming we find a way of programming them). Hence they might indeed be the logical endpoint for smartphones. The lack of user serviceable parts may also appeal to Apple.
