The second is saying that the current is the same anywhere in a
circuit no matter the resistance. I have never been so confused in my
life.
In a series circuit the current is the same everywhere no matter what the resistance is. But the magnitude of that current in the circuit depends on the total series resistance.
Say we have a 10 volt ideal battery (one with no internal resistance) across which we place a 2 Ohm resistance. From Ohm's law the current I in the resistor is
$I=\frac{V}{R}=10/2=$ 5 amperes
Now we add another 2 ohm resistor in series with the battery and the first resistor. The current flowing in both of the resistors is now
$I=\frac{V}{R}=10/(2+2)=$ 2.5 amperes.
This current of 2.5 amperes is flowing through each of the two 2 ohm resistors, but its magnitude is half of that if there were only a single 2 ohm resistor.
If we add another, say 1 ohm resistor, in series with the first two the current through all three of the resistors is
$I=\frac{V}{R}=10/(2+2+1)=$ 2 amperes
As we keep adding resistors in series the magnitude of the current goes down. But the current through each resistor is the same because all the current that flows into each resistor flows out and into the next resistor.
Thank you for your answer, @BobD! Based on what you're saying, the
current stays the same once we stop adding resistors, which makes
sense. But I feel like I don't fully understand how resistors
work/affect current. Do they slow down charged particles in the
circuit as they are flowing through the resistors? Is that how
resistors decrease current?
It is a common misconception that resistors "slow down" (reduce the speed) of electrons. If that were the case then the current leaving each resistor in a series circuit would be less than the current entering the resistor, so that the speed of the electrons coming out of the last resistor in series would be less than the speed of the electrons entering the first resistor. If that happened then electrons would be "piling up" in the resistors in between the first and last. That does not occur. The reason is conservation of charge.
To put it in a somewhat simplified manner, what the resistors do is to dissipate the electrical potential energy provided by the battery in the form of heat. As electrons move through the resistor they collide with the atoms and molecules of the resistor material. That briefly causes them to slow down a bit (losing kinetic energy), but then they speed up again (gain kinetic energy) due to the energy supplied by the electric field of the battery. The loss of kinetic energy shows up as heat. This alternately slowing down and speeding up of the electrons produces a net constant average speed (current) in the circuit.
Hope this helps.