The second question is not so difficult - at least in the context of Newtonian mechanics, the (inertial) mass is defined to be the ratio of the applied force to the resulting acceleration, so it doesn't make much sense to have some $f(m)$ there instead of $m$. In your example, if $\mathbf F = m^{\alpha}\mathbf a$ for some $\alpha$, then the quantity which has all of the properties which we associate with inertial mass would be $m^\alpha$, not $m$.
It is a different question entirely to ask why the coefficient which appears in Newton's 2nd Law also appears in the equation for the gravitational force - in other words, why inertial mass and gravitational mass (both active and passive) are equal (or at least proportional) to one another. In Newtonian physics, this question is left unanswered, and can only be justified by the empirical observation that it is true. A satisfactory explanation from first principles requires general relativity and the equivalence principle.
The presence of an additional term (your $10^{-11}$) would spoil the observation that in the absence of external forces, particles do not accelerate. So if you are willing to build a theory based on that observation, that term must be zero.
That leaves the question of why the relationship between force and acceleration is linear, and this too can be motivated only by experiment. If you attach a spring to a cart and pull carefully (so that the length $\ell$ of the spring is constant), then you can measure the cart's acceleration; attaching two identical springs and pulling in such a way that they both have length $\ell$ corresponds to twice the force, and via measurement, twice the acceleration.
This need not be true in principle - pulling with twice the force could cause four times the acceleration, for instance - but experiment suggests very strongly that $\mathbf F \propto \mathbf a$, so that is what we use. In relativistic physics, this is actually no longer true, so our definitions need to be updated accordingly.
One could go into more sophisticated arguments for these things, perhaps based on relativity or quantum theory, but at the end of the day we will always end up justifying our models by their agreement with empirical observation. This is the nature of science - there is no ultimate "why" other than "because that's how it seems to be."