My questions is on magnets, is the north pole being attracted to the south pole or is the south pole attracted to the north. Basically I am thinking as magnets as 2 pieces of matter with a tension between them. Which pole is causing the tension? For example when I go up to a door and push it open I am exerting the tension between myself and the door, even though the tension is the same on both the door and me, I exerted the force on the door. If the door was able to push the same amount of force onto me and I remained still the door would still push open with the same amount of force exerted on my body from the door. So basically what I am asking is with magnetism, how is the tension created between the north and south poles?
Another example is if I put force on a book sitting on a desk, the desk is pushing back with the same amount of force but the book is being pushed down creating the tension between the book and the desk, basically I am asking the same question in magnetism which pole is creating the tension between each other. Hopefully this makes sense.