A rotating BH is a Kerr BH, with the Kerr metric the solution. The Kerr solution has a ring singularity, but for the puRposes of the question the important fact is that it also has an event horizon. The confusion arises because it also has an external mathematical surface, called the ergosphere, where in fact it is possible to come in to and still come out.
This ouTer surface in not a true horizon, but it is a surface inside of which a particle (or ideal observer) has to rotate with the BH. Penrose determined that it is indeed possible to come into the ergosphere with a certain energy and come out faster, with a higher energy. This is conceptually a way to extract energy from the BH.
But the more important surface for the question is the event or inner horizon. It is a true horizon and if you go inside it you can never. Come out. If that was not true it would not be a BH.
See the simplest description of those in the Wikipedia article at https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kerr_metric.
The astrophysically discovered merging BHs almost surely were Kerr BHs, and once they get inside the event or true horizon of the other they just merge, very quickly, into a single rotating Kerr BH.
I've not checked about a charged or charged rotating BH but am pretty sure the answer is the same. It's more or less irrelevant because it's unlikely to find an astrophysical object with macroscopic charge, but possible and answer should be the same.
The consideration of how long it takes for an observer at infinity to see the particle (or whatever fall into the horizon is also irrelevant for practical purposes. That whole topic of the infinite time it would take has been answered plenty times on the PSE, but a short version is that whether it falls into the event horizon or just comes infinitely close to it has no observable difference at infinity, and for all purposes you can consider it as just falling in. We do keep detecting merging BHs with LIGO, so for these purposes they exist.
So the OPS question, why does time symmetry not allow particles coming back out after they go into a true event horizon? It's not the same, there can be white holes and BHs, we know how BHs may tend to form in gravitational collapse, we still have not seen a white hole (the Big Bang is similar to one but not the same).