I am writing this supplement @EmilioPisanty, which I feel gives an incorrect answer to the second question, "My second question is that what about $\Delta m =0$ where does it come from?".
To start, the physics of quadrupole transitions comes from combining the polarization vector $\mathbf{\epsilon}$ and momentum vector $\mathbf{k}$ of light, which is to say the matrix element looks like $M\sim \langle f \vert (\mathbf{\epsilon} \cdot \mathbf{r}) (\mathbf{k} \cdot \mathbf{r}) \vert i \rangle$.
So, for example, to get a $\Delta m =0$ transition you would need to have the $z$-components of the angular momentum for the two vectors be zero or cancel out. Likewise, for $\Delta m = 2$ you would need the $z$-components to add together.
Question 1: As @EmilioPisanty states, your first question about $l=0 \rightarrow l'=0$ being forbidden is true to all multipolar orders. This physically arises from the conservation of angular momentum, which is not possible if a single photon is absorbed and the atom does not change angular momentum state at all.
Question 2: There is no geometry for a plane wave photon which allows only $\Delta m=0$ while also forbidding $\Delta m = \pm1, \pm2$. The underlaying reason is that the photon's polarization vector $\epsilon$ and momentum $k$ must be perpendicular, so the two vectors cannot strictly cancel each other along all $x,y,z$ axes.
Nonetheless, $\Delta m=0$ transitions are possible because the $z$ components, but not $x,y$ components, of the two vectors can be canceled.
One such geometry which allows for $\Delta m=0$ is shown below. Here, $\epsilon$ and $k$ are 45 and 135 degrees from the $+z$ direction. In this geometry $\epsilon \sim x-z$ and $k \sim x+z$, giving $(x-z)(x+z) = x^2 -z^2$ which allows for both $\Delta m =0$ and $\Delta m = \pm2$, but not allowing for any $\Delta m = \pm1$.
Note: One can get pure $\Delta m = 0$ if one goes beyond plane waves and uses vortex beams which carry orbital angular momentum. There, you can arrange the orbital part to be $+1$ along $z$ and the polarization to circularly polarized $-1$ to give pure $\Delta m = 0$. This can be understood as a coherent sum of plane waves which cancel out the $\Delta m = \pm2$ contribution. See this paper for more detailed math.