1) You probably know how to solve simple electrostatics situations where you have a bunch of parallel plates (plates, not capacitors), with different charges. What happens here is that the excess charge ($+Q$) distributes on the outer surface of both plates. You then get $\pm\frac{3Q}{2}$ on the inner plates. The charge on the outer surface cannot be changed unless you supply it externally or ground the outer surface. It will not change in a circuit, since it is easier for the charges to accumulate on the inner surfaces. So the textbooks is slightly more valid if it says "must continue to have the same net charge".
Note that the charges on the inner surfaces must be equal and opposite, otherwise the net electric field inside the plate itself will be zero. This point solves your "why can't the charges stay" confusion as well, if I understood correctly.
2) A single wire has the same current, not potential. You probably know that we can analogify resistors with rocks and capacitors with diaphragms in hydrodynamics. Well, rocks can reduce the pressure, but not the speed (otherwise we'd have a buildup of water in the rocks). So in this case itself we have different pressures in one branch. With a capacitor, this is more evident since a diaphragm obviously exerts an extra force, giving rise to extra pressure.
As time goes on, you have to wean yourself off the hydrostatics analogy--it doesn't explain everything (in fact, the analogy oftentimes is used the other way around)
Actually, you seem to have a poor understanding of pressure(don't worry, many people do), so I would shy away from the analogy till you do.