Objects are not damaged by momentum $\vec{p}$ they are damaged by force $\vec{F}$. When two objects collide their momenta changes because of forces they apply each other while being in contact. According to 2nd Newton's law the force can be calculated as follows:
$$
\vec{F} = \frac{d\vec{p}}{dt}
$$
So the force is determined by the time of interaction. When two objects contact their surfaces are flexed. The bigger is the flex the higher is the force which changes the momentum. At some moment of time the relative normal momentum (and velocity) becomes zero and the objects start move backward.
At this moment the force and the flex is maximal. If the surface (armor) is not strong enough for this flex the object is damaged. This can happen long before the relative normal velocity become zero. In that case the interaction between internal parts of the objects started.
Momentum
Hence damage is not determined only by momentum. It is determined by the force and the ability of the object resist it. The force is not constant during the collision and its maximal value depends on momentum and the time of interaction of the surfaces. The time of interaction depends on both flexibility and strength.
When a basketball hits the floor its momentum changes from $\vec{p}$ to almost $-\vec{p}$ so the total change is almost $2p$. When a glass hits the floor its momentum becomes zero so the change is $p$. The ball has higher flexibility and strength and is not destroyed even though the momentum change is two times higher.
Another example is a bullet that hits a door. It makes hole before the door opens. The force is huge but the momentum of the door is almost not changed because the time necessary to reach critical flex is too short. When one pushes the door with his finger the force is small and does not destroy the surface before the flex stop the finger. The door gets enough momentum to start move.
Energy
When the surface is flexed in irreversible way or damaged some part of kinetic energy of the objects turns into kinetic energy of their parts, heat, sound, light etc. This is called inelastic collision. Elastic collision means no damage. If you need a good model this should be taken into account.