I think I'm fundamentally misunderstanding something.
Say I have a gauged Lagrangian for a complex scalar field $\phi$ with no SSB:
$$\begin{equation} \mathcal{L} = (D_{\mu}\phi)(D^{\mu}\phi)^{\dagger} - m^2 \phi \phi^{\dagger} - \frac{1}{4} F_{\mu \nu} F^{\mu \nu}\tag{1} \end{equation}$$
with $D_{\mu} = \partial_{\mu} + i A_{\mu}$.
And now suppose I parameterise my complex scalar field as $\phi(x) = r(x) e^{i \theta(x)}$ -- two real degrees of freedom excited around the vacuum at $\langle \phi\rangle = 0$. If I now plug this into the Lagrangian I get
$$\mathcal{L} = (\partial_{\mu} r + i \partial_{\mu} \theta r + i A_{\mu} r )(\partial_{\mu} r - i \partial_{\mu} \theta r - i A_{\mu} r ) - m^2 r^2 - \frac{1}{4} F_{\mu \nu} F^{\mu \nu}.$$
But by gauge invariance $A_{\mu}$ and $A_{\mu} + \partial_{\mu} \theta$ are exactly the same field (this may be the place where I'm doing something wrong), so
$$\mathcal{L} = (D_{\mu}r)(D^{\mu}r)^{\dagger} - m^2 r^2 - \frac{1}{4} F_{\mu \nu} F^{\mu \nu},\tag{2}$$
which only depends on the real excitation!
I'm very confused as to where the angular excitation has gone. Was it just never real in the first place?
If we had SSB, we'd happily eliminate the goldstones that corresponded to the gauge degrees of freedom by letting them get eaten by the gauge field in just such a way. The only difference here is there's no vev to give the $A$s a mass.
In this post, TwoBs' answer seems to do the same as I do, but it seems to me their argument rests on the fact that they have neglected to package up (where $h$ corresponds to my $r$) $\partial_{\mu} h$ and $A_{\mu} h$ into a covariant derivative again, and they claim this makes $\mathcal{L}$ non-gauge-invariant. I don't understand the argument. I don't feel like I have fixed a gauge anywhere, I've just expressed the $\phi$ field in a certain form, and since $A_{\mu}$ was a general field, $A_{\mu} + \partial_{\mu} \theta$ is surely also general.
Is there a difference between a gauge transformation and an angular excitation of the $\phi$ field? Do they only look the same at the level of the Lagrangian and in reality they're truly different?